Someone online once asked the question “Can words cause anger?” To me it was a duh-question. Who doesn’t know words can cause anger, especially when they’re spoken in anger? I replied that words have the power to cause anger, hurt, and confusion, but they also have the power to soothe, comfort, and encourage. Our words could make or break a person.
Words that we speak and the tone of voice we speak them with have a power to do good or do evil. We need to think about how we use this power and use it in a good and meaningful way.
This reminded me of a quote from a long ago Oprah show. She said true forgiveness comes when you can say thank you for that experience. While I don’t completely agree with that statement, it has some merit. When you can put a bad experience behind you because you learned something from it, it’s freeing. You can go forward wiser and better.
A number of times in my life, words hurt me deeply, to my very core and caused me a lot of pain, heartache, tears, and distress. Some of the most hurtful words came from a person who didn’t know me well and spread untrue assumptions about me. The hurt stayed with me for many years and festered into anger. My anger gave me the determination to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the speakers wrong. I prayed more and read and studied the Bible more. It was the only way I could prove to everyone that the rumor was a lie.
When I heard Oprah’s philosophy years later, I had an epiphany. I hadn’t forgiven the speakers of the harmful words. I could honestly thank them for helping me become a better person. Without that prodding (even though it felt like a cattle prod at the time), I wouldn’t be who I am and where I am today without them. I felt a weight lift off me as I mentally thanked them for the experience and shed the weight of hurt feelings I’d carried around too long.
Those hurtful words motivated me to become a better person, but that isn’t always the case. As a literacy tutor, I heard so many stories from my students who were told horrible, hateful things by teachers, principals, and parents that impacted them negatively. Most were told they were too dumb to learn, and rather than being motivated to prove them wrong, they took it to heart. It became their creed in life. Consequently, they struggled to live in a meaningful way and never felt worthy of anything good. What a sad way to go through life.
Since the words from our mouth carry such power, I urge everyone to speak kindly and peacefully and use them to encourage, rather than tear down. You have the power to influence and inspire. Choose your words carefully so they do good and not evil.
For he that will love life, and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil, and his lips that they speak no guile: Let him eschew evil, and do good: let him seek peace, and ensue it. I Peter 3:10-11
For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body. . . . Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. James 3: 2, 10