Thoughts on Worry

I had a strange thing happen on my Las Vegas-to-Boise flight home. I sat in a seat next to the window and when two young women sat next to me, I was pleased to have these seatmates (as opposed to business men who hog the armrests). Immediately upon sitting, the middle-seater turned her back to me. Her long dreadlocks (they seemed clean) kept rubbing my arm which was misery because it tickled. She and her attractive blonde colleague set into a conversation that was—well, weird. It covered a lot of female issues that seemed strange to be discussing in a public place. Dreadlock was talking about how she quit taking some sort of medication because she thought it did bad things to her body. She said she wouldn’t take Tylenol or Advil even if she was sick. She had the look of a “granola” person so I didn’t think much of it. A toddler in the seat in front of us was friendly and kept saying hi and waving at the two girls. They were kind and interacted with the little girl. It was cute.
After taking off, the two girls went to sleep and the hair quit tickling my arm. I read my book and enjoyed the flight. Upon landing, blondie took out a rental car key from her purse and started talking to dreadlock. I won’t detail their conversation but it became abundantly clear that the two young ladies were prostitutes. I felt very sick to my stomach and wanted a bath as soon as I got home.
This episode disturbed me a lot. First, these were two young women, who were attractive and polite, who were concerned about their general health, but who sell themselves to men. They are sinning against their own bodies. Tylenol was far better for them than their chosen occupation. I’ve thought a lot about those girls and mourned for them. Such a sad waste of potential.
After I got home and after my bath, I read an article about the impending giant earthquake that will completely destroy the Pacific Northwest. The event is similar to the volcano at Yellowstone blowing—total destruction over a huge area. It’s particularly upsetting because people I love live there. The article reminded me of the verse in Revelations about a “mighty and great earthquake as had not occurred since men were on the earth.” So that set me to worrying—well, not really worrying, but thinking about things like that. Worrisome thoughts begat more worrisome thoughts.
That, along with all the junk that goes on in this country and the world in general, makes me afraid. Afraid for me. Afraid for my family, especially my grandson. And I can’t sleep. And I get stressed about things. I’m not very productive. I’m not very ambitious. I’m stuck with an anxiety in my heart that won’t go away. It’s times like this that my panic attacks come on so I have to fight hard to keep them at bay.
How do I end the vicious cycle? Quit reading articles about destruction. There’s nothing I can do about anything Nature might throw at us all. I look to the Rock and ask for help. I remember that I am just a sojourner and all things work together for good to them that love Him. As Solomon said, there is nothing better than a person eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of his labor. This also is from the hand of God. And I’m comforted from my fears.

2 Comments
  1. Wow Carol, poignant and moving…

    Interestingly the 23rd Psalm has been in the forefront of my mind for several days where I have been finding particular peace in the whole of it, but particularly the 6th verse.

    1 (A Psalm of David.) The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

    2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

    3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.

    4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

    5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

    6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

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