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Most people already knew that, but now everyone will know. Always have been and probably always will be. One of my most often repeated prayers is Lord, please help me not to make a fool of myself.

A memory popped up on my Facebook page that triggered this thought. It happened ten years ago, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it happened again.

June 3, 2013: I stopped at Sonic to get a half price drink. After I drove away, I started drinking it and soon realized the front of me was soaking wet. There was a hole in the bottom of the cup. I put it into the cup holder, but my hands were sticky. How could I drive with sticky hands? I got hand wipes out of my purse and found they were dried out. I had to resort to using a mother’s all-purpose cleaning substance: spit. I managed to get my hands cleaned off enough they didn’t stick to the steering wheel anymore. After I got to where I was going, I wemt to the bathroom to clean up as best I can. On the way home, I stopped to get another pop (a.k.a. soda, coke, etc.). This time the lid wasn’t on securely, and I spilled some of it down the front of me for a second time. I gave up and went home for a drink of water from a glass.

I don’t know what I did to torque off the pop machine, but it didn’t like me that day. Stopping to get something to drink is nothing new. It’s the way I am, but on that day, it was a disaster. Whenever we travel, I like to have some sort of beverage to sip on other than water. If we go by Sonic, it’s Sprite Zero. If we go by McDonald’s, it’s unsweet tea or Diet Coke. Anything that has flavor and is cold.

I’ve had many other “disasters” since then. Invisible speed bumps rise out of flat surfaces to trip me when I least expect it. Pushing on doors that say Pull and pulling on doors that say Push. Forgetting how much clearance I need and bumping into things or knocking them over. Going to the wrong medical office for tests. They can’t find me in the system and ask if I’ve been there before. I thought I had, but apparently my memory isn’t functioning like it should. They tell me to go down the street and try there. Sure enough, I’m in the system there, and I’m late for my appointment.

And don’t ask Hubby about me taking him to the wrong hotel and sending him inside to check us in. He got the same response I did at the medical facility. Try down the street.

Every time I think I’m cool or have it together, something happens to knock me back to my level. It’s taught me to stay humble and kept me grounded, which is good, but I hope I’d stay that way without all the embarrassment.

After all these years, I expect to make a fool of myself, hence the reason for my prayer. Maybe I need to add more to that prayer. If I’m going to be a klutz, please don’t let anyone record it and put it on the web. That would be humiliating. People might not remember I write books, but they’d remember me as that crazy lady who tripped over her own feet.

I’d rather be known for being not necessarily graceful, but always gracious, humble, and kind, but those kinds of things rarely go viral, so no one records that. Just be kind to me when you see me fall, trip, spill, or otherwise embarrass myself. I’m not trying to attract attention. I’m just trying to get through it all.

Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up. James 4:10

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