I spent part of last week with my parents. They’re aging very quickly, but don’t tell them they’re old because they don’t like it. Never mind that by the end of June, they’ll both be in their 90s. They seem more feeble with each visit, especially my dad, but don’t tell him I said that. They live at home in the middle of nowhere on their few acres, miles away from medical facilities. There’s nothing any of us kids or their friends can say will persuade Dad to move to town where their lives would be easier. My mother told me twice she’d love to move to town and have neighbors. She’s been telling me that for years. Her short-term memory is gone, but I’m very grateful she still knows who I am.
My parents have outlived almost all their friends. The modern world is too confusing for them to understand how to effectively function in it, leaving them confused about the simplest things and Dad fervently wishing things could like they were in the old days. Hubby’s grandparents and parents all asked the question, “Why am I still here?” Once purpose and quality of life leaves you, it’s a hard question to answer.
Our visit brought on a discussion in my family about how long we want to live, and we decided around 75 to 80. After that, most people’s bodies break down so much it becomes less enjoyable to function. That’s not to say, take yourself out when you reach that age, but as one article we all read, it’s the point where you stop taking all the prevention tests (colonoscopies, mammograms, etc.) and let things happen as they may. Science has prolonged lives medically, but that extra time may not be enjoyable. Many people are exceptions to that, but for those who aren’t, there’s a point where living isn’t enjoyable anymore, and a person is tired of living. I saw it with Hubby’s family and can see it in mine.
Our last visit was turbulent, but this time, I kept my tongue in check and avoided controversial topics. It’s taken me a while to learn that I will not change Dad’s mind on going to independent living or even moving to town to be near their doctors. Patience is a hard virtue to learn, but I practiced it a whole lot last week. Our visit was more peaceful so I will continue that strategy while visiting my folks in the future.
Now we exhort you, brethren, warn them that are unruly, comfort the feebleminded, support the weak, be patient toward all men. 1 Thessalonians 5:14
For them to live together in their own is their choice. And it is by God’s grace that they have been blessed with so many wonderful years together. Otherwise he would have taken them home. So what if you have to be inconvenienced for a season. Some day you would give anything to do it all over again. All of you are in my thoughts and prayers. It is difficult for all, but a real blessing overall. My love to all of you. ♥️
Thank you!