Fatigue

I’m tired! I’m over Covid, so it’s not related to that. I attribute it to the several days spent visiting my parents which is stressful. It’s not their fault…not completely. Let’s just say we don’t see eye to eye about their plans or as I see it, the lack of them. Their physical situation is deteriorating, and I worry about their wellbeing. I lay awake for several nights worrying about what’s going to happen to them.

Problems always seem larger in the dark, especially when in bed. I’m alone with my thoughts, and they start to overwhelm me, leaving me sleepless and mentally exhausted. I worry about how things might end up or what the future might hold for my loved ones. To be sure, I have no control over most of the things I worry about. My worries focus on what will I do if this happens, or that happens, or what if this other horrible thing happens. Then what? How will I deal with it?

The light of day usually makes those problems seem less dire and logic kicks in faster. Imagining and worrying about every possible outcome is a waste of time. In my experience, none of them happened, and we dealt with whatever popped up. The main point is we did what had to do and handled it as best we could. In the daylight, it seems the best way to go forward on something like this. If only I could convince my dreams to leave the sense of desperation out of them….

I’m starting this week sleep deprived but hope to make some of it up. I don’t have any appointments before 9 am so I can sleep in. I have no qualms about napping during the day if I feel the need. So far, it doesn’t seem to impact my sleep at night, and I feel better after a nap. I’m probably easier to live with too.

Doctors say to get plenty of rest. I urge you to do the same. I know I’ll be following that advice.

I will both lay me down in peace, and sleep; for thou, Lord, only makes me to dwell in safety. Psalms 4:8